Wilted, Waterfruit, Passion. (A little bit too much back pain)

You’re back is a little broken…that’s all I’m saying
My back is broken?
I mean…you’re spine
My spine?…what are you talking about?
I mean…spineless
I’m spineless? like…a worm…or a jellyfish or something...like no bones? You’re not making sense. You never make sense… half the time you’re sorta walking around with this ‘I-know-I’m-here-and-I-don’t-want-to-be-and-life’s-a-bitch-and I hate your face’ expression.
Really? I can put all that into one expression on my face?
You’re an idiot
You’re spineless
I got it from my mom
I’m trying to give you some self-improvement tips here
You’re pretending to be dr. Phil…do I need self-improvement?
Yes...you do….I mean, kind of a lot, I think people might like you more…you’d be less lonely…maybe?
I’m not lonely...all of the time
Really? Because one time you told me you felt like a pig being roasted on a spit over a fire while the savages (who were everyone else around you) were dancing, laughing and shooting off firecrackers and drinking beer and all you felt was the flames licking at your back.
Did I?
Yeah…you said you felt like that a lot of the time…actually...you said all of the time.
Maybe that’s why I’m spineless…
What?
Because of the flames…you know?

Feeling lonely tonight

Things I found...mostly via Stumbleupon...what can i say..im addicted
I just watched 500 Days of Summer = brilliant













I have never been in love

My witness is the empty sky

I've been reading On The Road by Jack Kerouac
He created a list of writing rules which are pretty random but I love them
Also, Read Jack Kerouac, if you have the chance. He's great.

1.Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for yr own joy
2. Submissive to everything, open, listening
3. Try never get drunk outside yr own house
4. Be in love with yr life
5. Something that you feel will find its own form
6. Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind
7. Blow as deep as you want to blow
8. Write what you want bottomless from bottom of the mind
9. The unspeakable visions of the individual
10. No time for poetry but exactly what is
11. Visionary tics shivering in the chest
12. In tranced fixation dreaming upon object before you
13. Remove literary, grammatical and syntactical inhibition
14. Like Proust be an old teahead of time
15. Telling the true story of the world in interior monolog
16. The jewel center of interest is the eye within the eye
17. Write in recollection and amazement for yourself
18. Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea
19. Accept loss forever
20. Believe in the holy contour of life
21. Struggle to sketch the flow that already exists intact in mind
22. Don't think of words when you stop but to see picture better
23. Keep track of every day the date emblazoned in yr morning
24. No fear or shame in the dignity of yr experience, language & knowledge
25. Write for the world to read and see yr exact pictures of it
26. Bookmovie is the movie in words, the visual American form
27. In praise of Character in the Bleak inhuman Loneliness
28. Composing wild, undisciplined, pure, coming in from under, crazier the better
29. You're a Genius all the time
30. Writer-Director of Earthly movies Sponsored & Angeled in Heaven

I wanted to be a ballerina

So Sunday,
in a crazy blizzard, with treacherous roads and a very old van my mother and I as well as a friend and her daughter went downtown to see The Nutcracker Ballet done by the National Ballet. My mom is kind of a spaz but surprisingly, she kept
everything pretty much together. Even white knuckling it down the highway, go mom.
Also, did I mention it was negative 1000 outside, good thing we only had to walk like one block to Eaton's for lunch/supper after.



Anyway, the show was just beautiful, costumes, set, dancing, fantastic. Last time I saw the Nutcracker I was five and I fell asleep on my Dads lap. Surprisingly, at least to me, there was a lot of kids in the show and some super super cute kids in animal costumes...loveeed it. Actually just the animal costumes in general were brilliant like the mouse king etc. I couldn't imagine dancing in those. Mad skills.



There was also this adorable little girl in the row in front of us who was dancing in the aisle trying to copy the dancers on the stage. It made me remember how much I absolutely adored things like the nutcracker ballet when I was young. I would have died and gone to heaven if I had seen that show when I was five.
Why do we have to get old and boring?



I also noticed that male ballet dancers are extremely good looking. Actually just dancers in general. I wish I had that kind of dedication and devotion to something.
I'm trying to, its just a lot of work.

New year, new blog

I just want to spread creativity
that is my main aim.

tonight I also got a lookbook account
go lookbook!